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"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live" ~ Henry David Thoreau


"While the rest of the species was descended from apes, redheads were descended from cats." ~ Mark Twain


Wisdom:

- The only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

- Don't hate it, embrace it.

- Muncește ca un sclav, poruncește ca un rege, creează ca un zeu.

- La vida no espera.

- Le temps détruit tout.

Dislikes:

Harry Potter. Dr. Who. "txt spk". Twilight. Ignorance. Tim Burton. Feminism. Ayn Rand. GOP. Tea Baggers. Politics. Religion. Lack of ambition. Gavin and Stacey. Estate Agents. Politicians. Horoscopes. Obesity. Tequila. Inequality. People who eat loudly. Religion. Twitter. The Mighty Boosh. Sense of entitlement. Injustice. Vodka. Brussell Sprouts. Homeopathy. Tribal tattoo's. Mainstream music. Bad films.

January 29th
00:00

Films of 2012

Once again guys, here is a link to the ever growing list of films I shall be viewing in 2012.  Each title will be highlighted with the link to the review on my blog. 

Feel free to bookmark for those times inbetween browsing porn and canihazacheeseburger.

January 28th
21:38
3. Shame
As soon as I saw this trailer on the big screen, I was counting down the days until Steve McQueen’s follow up to Hunger was released.
The  plot centres around the life of Brandon (Fassbender), a thirty  something executive living in New York City who has been steadily  creating a life which allows him to indulge in his sex addiction  successfully, that is until his sister Sissy (Mulligan) arrives to stay  with him for a few weeks. 
As we drop into Brandon’s  slick apartment while he walks around completely naked, you cannot help  but feel like a voyeur sneaking looks for our own guilty pleasure, which  is just how McQueen wants us to feel.  McQueen really pushes the  boundaries when it comes to what we think can be  shown on screen, especially sexually and to his eternal credit he  doesn’t pull any punches.  In fact he hits us repeatedly with knock out  punch after knock out punch of savage and graphic film making. 
We are shown another human being at his most open and at his most  vulnerable.  McQueen, almost forces us to watch this person struggle  with something that he cannot control, reminiscent of Trainspotting or  Requiem for a dream, it’s is harrowing and simply put, really tough to  watch. 
Our perspective as voyeur increases throughout the film, we see him at work, conversing and brokering deals for his firm, appearing normal  and trying to keep his addiction manageable and secret, even though he  is having to masturbate in the company toilets and watch copious amounts  of porn on his company computer mere feet from his co-workers.  We  watch Brandon interact with people and we see him work hard to show no  signs of his addiction.  McQueen uses a lot of unbroken shots to  illustrate this cancer in Brandon’s life, including multiple long shots  which serve to separate us from Brandon just enough so we don’t start to  feel the shame as well. 
The score expertly uses strings to really add poignancy and weight to  the soundtrack and the use of music overlapping the sounds of what we  see forces us to focus harder on Brandon’s face as we see him ache for  intimacy, it’s an awkward process but one which engages you throughout.
With the arrival of Sissy, Brandon’s sister, we see how strained the dynamic and relationship between  the two are.  The story doesn’t probe into this, leaving a mystery as  to why Brandon doesn’t want her around or can cut her out of his life  for long periods at a time, which is probably the only downside to the  film.  Carey Mulligan delivers and connects with Fassbender, their  relationship is believable and gripping, when the two of them are on  screen together it is almost difficult to discern which one should  receive more of your attention.
As the film progresses we see Brandon’s life unravelling with his  inability to suppress his growing addiction.  We watch from just out of  arms reach as Brandon takes a co-worker to a hotel and is unable to  perform with her sexually as she tries to be intimate with him.  She  leaves and then we are taken back to the hotel to see Brandon performing  with a hooker.  We watch as Brandon goes out and tries to seduce a girl  with a boyfriend, leading him to being assaulted by her lover.  We  follow him on his search for his fix into a gay club where we realise  that his addiction is to the act of sex and ones sexuality doesn’t  dictate where his fix comes from, he kisses a man and forces his head  down to receive head from this stranger, the camera never leaves  Brandon’s face as we truly see the shame he feels.  He leaves the club  and arranges a meeting with two prostitutes, the film, like his  addiction is unrelenting.  We watch on as he fucks one of the hookers  and once again we are focused by McQueen on nothing but the face of  Brandon as he breaks down during an intimate act which he spends all of  his time thinking about and pursuing, yet he cannot feel anything other  than a quick hedonistic high. 
Michael Fassbender’s portrayal of Brandon is simply put,  captivating.  His sheer embodiment of the character slowly and somewhat  ironically pulls us closer to him than he could ever feel to us. His raw  emotion and power whenever he is on screen deserves any accolades that  are bestowed on him.
Baron Jamie gives this: 5/5 Mesmerising, powerful and harrowing, a daring film from McQueen and a stunning performance from Michael Fassbender.

3. Shame

As soon as I saw this trailer on the big screen, I was counting down the days until Steve McQueen’s follow up to Hunger was released.

The plot centres around the life of Brandon (Fassbender), a thirty something executive living in New York City who has been steadily creating a life which allows him to indulge in his sex addiction successfully, that is until his sister Sissy (Mulligan) arrives to stay with him for a few weeks. 

As we drop into Brandon’s slick apartment while he walks around completely naked, you cannot help but feel like a voyeur sneaking looks for our own guilty pleasure, which is just how McQueen wants us to feel.  McQueen really pushes the boundaries when it comes to what we think can be shown on screen, especially sexually and to his eternal credit he doesn’t pull any punches.  In fact he hits us repeatedly with knock out punch after knock out punch of savage and graphic film making. 

We are shown another human being at his most open and at his most vulnerable.  McQueen, almost forces us to watch this person struggle with something that he cannot control, reminiscent of Trainspotting or Requiem for a dream, it’s is harrowing and simply put, really tough to watch. 

Our perspective as voyeur increases throughout the film, we see him at work, conversing and brokering deals for his firm, appearing normal and trying to keep his addiction manageable and secret, even though he is having to masturbate in the company toilets and watch copious amounts of porn on his company computer mere feet from his co-workers.  We watch Brandon interact with people and we see him work hard to show no signs of his addiction.  McQueen uses a lot of unbroken shots to illustrate this cancer in Brandon’s life, including multiple long shots which serve to separate us from Brandon just enough so we don’t start to feel the shame as well. 

The score expertly uses strings to really add poignancy and weight to the soundtrack and the use of music overlapping the sounds of what we see forces us to focus harder on Brandon’s face as we see him ache for intimacy, it’s an awkward process but one which engages you throughout.

With the arrival of Sissy, Brandon’s sister, we see how strained the dynamic and relationship between the two are.  The story doesn’t probe into this, leaving a mystery as to why Brandon doesn’t want her around or can cut her out of his life for long periods at a time, which is probably the only downside to the film.  Carey Mulligan delivers and connects with Fassbender, their relationship is believable and gripping, when the two of them are on screen together it is almost difficult to discern which one should receive more of your attention.

As the film progresses we see Brandon’s life unravelling with his inability to suppress his growing addiction.  We watch from just out of arms reach as Brandon takes a co-worker to a hotel and is unable to perform with her sexually as she tries to be intimate with him.  She leaves and then we are taken back to the hotel to see Brandon performing with a hooker.  We watch as Brandon goes out and tries to seduce a girl with a boyfriend, leading him to being assaulted by her lover.  We follow him on his search for his fix into a gay club where we realise that his addiction is to the act of sex and ones sexuality doesn’t dictate where his fix comes from, he kisses a man and forces his head down to receive head from this stranger, the camera never leaves Brandon’s face as we truly see the shame he feels.  He leaves the club and arranges a meeting with two prostitutes, the film, like his addiction is unrelenting.  We watch on as he fucks one of the hookers and once again we are focused by McQueen on nothing but the face of Brandon as he breaks down during an intimate act which he spends all of his time thinking about and pursuing, yet he cannot feel anything other than a quick hedonistic high. 

Michael Fassbender’s portrayal of Brandon is simply put, captivating.  His sheer embodiment of the character slowly and somewhat ironically pulls us closer to him than he could ever feel to us. His raw emotion and power whenever he is on screen deserves any accolades that are bestowed on him.

Baron Jamie gives this: 5/5 Mesmerising, powerful and harrowing, a daring film from McQueen and a stunning performance from Michael Fassbender.

January 12th
18:16
And so it begins…

And so it begins…

January 2nd
20:32

2011 films:

So sometime last year I claimed I was going to review each and every film I saw in 2011. 

Turns out I lied, instead I spent my free time sleeping, drinking, womanising and generally being awesome.  So what I have done instead is compiled a list of all the films I saw in 2011, updated the said link on my blog and created a new 2012 section which will contain reviews to every film I see this year.

I will also write you my top ten films of 2011, which is going to be the hardest thing I’ve done since I turned down those two nineteen year old blonde German girls last week. 

Hey it’s cool, I love you guys.

Baron Jamie’s 2011 Film List of Zing.

Key:

$$ = Unbelivable, take dying relatives.

$ = Recommend, take the ugly dates to.

X = Woeful, take the hot dates to.

  1. The Way Back
  2. 127 Hours - $
  3. The Kings Speech - $
  4. Black Swan - $$
  5. Barney’s Version - $
  6. Dilemma
  7. The Fighter - $
  8. True Grit - $$
  9. Never Let Me Go
  10. Paul
  11. Animal Kingdom - S
  12. The Rite - X 
  13. I am Number Four - X
  14. Submarine - $$
  15. Limitless
  16. The Source Code - $
  17. Fast Five
  18. Thor - X
  19. The Hangover 2
  20. Hanna - $
  21. Water for Elephants - X
  22. X-Men: First Class - $
  23. Bridesmaids - $$
  24. The Green Lantern - X
  25. The Change-Up
  26. The Tree of Life - $$
  27. Beginners - $
  28. Captain America - X
  29. Super 8 - $
  30. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
  31. The Inbetweeners - $
  32. Beautiful lies - $
  33. Cowboys & Aliens
  34. The Skin I Live In - $$
  35. Friends with Benefits
  36. Troll Hunter - $$
  37. The Guard - $
  38. Horrible bosses
  39. Warrior - $
  40. Drive - $$
  41. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - $
  42. Crazy Stupid Love - $
  43. Midnight in Paris - $
  44. Killer Elite
  45. The Adventures of Tin Tin
  46. The Ides of March - $
  47. The Help - $$
  48. Contagion
  49. Straw Dogs - X
  50. In Time - X
  51. Tower Heist - X
  52. Moneyball - $
  53. 50/50 - $
  54. Take Shelter - $$
  55. Hugo
  56. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - $$
  57. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
  58. MI:4
  59. The Artist - $$

Review to come.

December 14th
21:29
I can now be fucked to review this.As a film fan, buff, addict and geek I hate remakes; The Wicker Man, Let Me In, Psycho, Get Carter, Planet of the Apes are enough evidence to support violence towards anyone involved with the making of that film.  “I don’t care if you were only the second grip, stay still while I swing this axe at your face”.  BUT there are a few examples that stick two fingers up to my prejudice and prove me wrong; Ocean’s 11, The Departed, The Thing, The Magnificent Seven and True Grit.You get the picture. As far as the ingredients for a good remake this film has it all; a well thought of cast, a fantastic and gripping plot, a director at the top of game and a soundtrack by Trent Reznor. But as the lights dimmed inside the Odeon cinema on Leicester Square, a feeling of nervousness washed over me as I suddenly realise that maybe my child at Christmas levels of anticipation for TGWTDT was perhaps getting the better of me.SPOILER ALERT: It didn’t.It is sometimes hard to watch a film when you know the story inside out from the original, but TGWTDT didn’t have this problem.  The film starts slowly with a phone conversation between two old men, it is understated and quiet enough to make me lean forward slightly in my seat.  When the opening titles explode onto the screen you are pushed back into your seat with sheer visceral noise from the Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross/Karen O cover of The Immigrant Song.  The imagery is stunning but are completely different I thought they would be but it works very well even though it looks like a dark and disturbed James Bond style opening sequence.After the impressive title sequence we are slowly and subtly introduced to the story and our characters.  David Fincher is an artist of the highest calibre and his works behind the lens are a joy, he brings the restrained style of a voyeur to the screen.  We are effortlessly kept at arms length, like a prisoner with Stockholm Syndrome, we gladly take what little information he gives to us and we never complain.  Pace is key with this film and DF is never one to rush the story along towards the aspects of the film which would may described as the most gripping.  In doing so he builds effortless tension and no scene is compromised leaving you with a complete feeling after every scene passes.  The story
Some of the shot selection is tremendous and expansive; following a blizzard battered train through a snow covered rural Sweden was excellent without showboating or the steady cam shot carrying us with Rooney Mara as she glides effortlessly through traffic made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.The score couples with the shot making perfectly, the ability of Trent Reznor is without question here.  You can always tell if it is a good score if can you actually notice it during, loud, action scenes.  I noticed the score in both the loud and the quiet scenes.  It never overstepped the mark and it made an impact when needed. People question Daniel Craig’s acting, unfairly I think as I personally rate him as a fine actor.  In this film he embodies Mikael Blomkvist and does Michael Nyqvist from the original justice, with in a layered and composed performance which fits the film incredibly well.Then there is Rooney Mara.She has the incredibly hard task of following the tour de force performance of Noomi Rapace in the original version and in making the role her own.  It would have been very easy for her to overact or underact in this film but in my personal opinion that she is this films equivalent of a “punctum” in photography; it’s that thing that grabs a hold of you, the detail that makes it happen.  It’s an incredible performance from Rooney as she wears the role of Lisbeth Salander like she actually removed her skin and let her out from the inside, it’s a genuine performance full of outward rage, animal instict and understated aggression.  The character naturally is incredibly introverted so this can be a challenge to paint this on the screen and keep your audience captivated even without the pithy and snappy delivery of dialogue.  In this case you can draw comparables to Ryan Gosling’s fantastic performance in Drive, the way that she speaks is short, basic and almost monotone, she relies purely on her intense screen presence guided by DF excellent direction.  The rest of the cast perform admirably with what screen time they have but the main focus is on the relationship between Mikael and Lisbeth, with such downbeat chemistry and a somewhat awkward interaction it just serves to make their interactions even more realistic.The original was incredibly dark and some of the scenes were actually hard to sit through without wincing and grinding your teeth.  I was concerned that the remake would shy away and dilute some one the disturbing scenes but to the contrary; certain standout scenes of sexual violence were even harder to stomach.
This is a bleak portrait of human nature, smudging the lines between sex and violence.I loved this film and would highly suggest keeping the 26th of December free so you can ditch the family and watch a modern classic.Just make sure you ask for the original for Christmas first.

I can now be fucked to review this.

As a film fan, buff, addict and geek I hate remakes; The Wicker Man, Let Me In, Psycho, Get Carter, Planet of the Apes are enough evidence to support violence towards anyone involved with the making of that film.  “I don’t care if you were only the second grip, stay still while I swing this axe at your face”.  BUT there are a few examples that stick two fingers up to my prejudice and prove me wrong; Ocean’s 11, The Departed, The Thing, The Magnificent Seven and True Grit.

You get the picture.

As far as the ingredients for a good remake this film has it all; a well thought of cast, a fantastic and gripping plot, a director at the top of game and a soundtrack by Trent Reznor.

But as the lights dimmed inside the Odeon cinema on Leicester Square, a feeling of nervousness washed over me as I suddenly realise that maybe my child at Christmas levels of anticipation for TGWTDT was perhaps getting the better of me.

SPOILER ALERT: It didn’t.

It is sometimes hard to watch a film when you know the story inside out from the original, but TGWTDT didn’t have this problem.  The film starts slowly with a phone conversation between two old men, it is understated and quiet enough to make me lean forward slightly in my seat.  When the opening titles explode onto the screen you are pushed back into your seat with sheer visceral noise from the Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross/Karen O cover of The Immigrant Song.  The imagery is stunning but are completely different I thought they would be but it works very well even though it looks like a dark and disturbed James Bond style opening sequence.

After the impressive title sequence we are slowly and subtly introduced to the story and our characters.  David Fincher is an artist of the highest calibre and his works behind the lens are a joy, he brings the restrained style of a voyeur to the screen.  We are effortlessly kept at arms length, like a prisoner with Stockholm Syndrome, we gladly take what little information he gives to us and we never complain.  Pace is key with this film and DF is never one to rush the story along towards the aspects of the film which would may described as the most gripping.  In doing so he builds effortless tension and no scene is compromised leaving you with a complete feeling after every scene passes.  The story

Some of the shot selection is tremendous and expansive; following a blizzard battered train through a snow covered rural Sweden was excellent without showboating or the steady cam shot carrying us with Rooney Mara as she glides effortlessly through traffic made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

The score couples with the shot making perfectly, the ability of Trent Reznor is without question here.  You can always tell if it is a good score if can you actually notice it during, loud, action scenes.  I noticed the score in both the loud and the quiet scenes.  It never overstepped the mark and it made an impact when needed.

People question Daniel Craig’s acting, unfairly I think as I personally rate him as a fine actor.  In this film he embodies Mikael Blomkvist and does Michael Nyqvist from the original justice, with in a layered and composed performance which fits the film incredibly well.

Then there is Rooney Mara.

She has the incredibly hard task of following the tour de force performance of Noomi Rapace in the original version and in making the role her own.  It would have been very easy for her to overact or underact in this film but in my personal opinion that she is this films equivalent of a “punctum” in photography; it’s that thing that grabs a hold of you, the detail that makes it happen.  It’s an incredible performance from Rooney as she wears the role of Lisbeth Salander like she actually removed her skin and let her out from the inside, it’s a genuine performance full of outward rage, animal instict and understated aggression.  The character naturally is incredibly introverted so this can be a challenge to paint this on the screen and keep your audience captivated even without the pithy and snappy delivery of dialogue.  In this case you can draw comparables to Ryan Gosling’s fantastic performance in Drive, the way that she speaks is short, basic and almost monotone, she relies purely on her intense screen presence guided by DF excellent direction.  The rest of the cast perform admirably with what screen time they have but the main focus is on the relationship between Mikael and Lisbeth, with such downbeat chemistry and a somewhat awkward interaction it just serves to make their interactions even more realistic.

The original was incredibly dark and some of the scenes were actually hard to sit through without wincing and grinding your teeth.  I was concerned that the remake would shy away and dilute some one the disturbing scenes but to the contrary; certain standout scenes of sexual violence were even harder to stomach.

This is a bleak portrait of human nature, smudging the lines between sex and violence.

I loved this film and would highly suggest keeping the 26th of December free so you can ditch the family and watch a modern classic.

Just make sure you ask for the original for Christmas first.

December 13th
19:56
Saw this last night.
Amazing.
I can’t be fucked to review it.

Saw this last night.

Amazing.

I can’t be fucked to review it.

December 12th
19:52

So tonight, thanks to this guy I am off to see the first UK showing of David Fincher’s highly anticipated adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Directed by David Fincher, The Girl with Dragon Tattoo is based on the first novel in Stieg Larsson’s blockbuster Millennium trilogy, centered on journalist Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig), who while investigating the unsolved murder of a young girl 40 years ago, finds an unlikely ally in the tattooed punk hacker Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara).

Can’t.  Fucking.  Wait.

Out nationwide December 26.

November 22nd
21:06
Pub toilet in Clapham, London with film quotes written all
over the walls, very kitsch, very me.

Pub toilet in Clapham, London with film quotes written all
over the walls, very kitsch, very me.

April 26th
23:00

Films of 2011: A growing list.

  1. The Way Back
  2. 127 Hours
  3. The Kings Speech
  4. Black Swan
  5. Barney’s Version
  6. Dilemma
  7. The Fighter
  8. True Grit
  9. Never Let Me Go
  10. Paul
  11. Animal Kingdon
  12. The Rite
  13. I Am Number Four
  14. Battle:LA
  15. Submarine
  16. Limitless
  17. The Source Code
  18. Fast Five

NB: This list will be linked on my home page and will grow as the weeks pass.  I shall be uploading my reviews of every film I see this year starting soon.